literature

proprioception

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StarlightComet's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

she claims
that you can spot virginity in the curve
of the hips.

i tell her
you can't see chastity in the way
the ilium crests, unless you fucked hard enough
to break it.

she smiles,
shows me the bruises carved into her bones,
traces the way his fingers held her-

what if you're already broken
to begin with?
somebody help me understand this.
© 2015 - 2024 StarlightComet
Comments9
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RussianTim's avatar
This is absolutely fantastic.  I can't really help you understand it, but I can tell you everything that works.  The first stanza, for instance, builds the theme of the poem and presents a realistic contrasting of element such as innocence (virginity) vs. sexuality (curve of the hips). All in three short lines too, which is quite impressive.  Then the second stanza continues the overall theme of the poem while shifting to the perspective of the sexually maturated narrator. The use of medical terminology such as "ilium crest" when juxtaposed with the imagery of fucking "hard enough to break it" adds to the credibility of the narrator as a mature and knowledgeable source of life experience.  Then, in the third stanza, this second voice, the seemingly younger girl or possibly younger version of the narrator displays a "loss of innocence yet still innocent" longing to be validated in her sexual experience, despite the fact that, from the context, it would seem she was roughly handled and still lacks a real understanding of sexuality.   Finally, the narrator poses an interesting question that ties it all togeher.  I can't say much more other then I think this is a simple, tactful, and powerful poem that deals with a subject matter that most modern poets completely fail at voicing in the provocative, yet intelligent way that you did.  I've read quite a few of your poems tonight and I can honestly say you are one of the best I have ever come across. Stop "attempting to be a poet" and accept the fact that you are one. I'm looking forward to seeing more work from you in the future.